January 2015
Hoosegow: (n) a prison.
I wasn't sure why a restaurant would be named "hoosegow", or whether there was some other meaning of "hoosegow".
I have discovered that this restaurant is, indeed, prison-themed. I'm sitting next to a large ornamental metal grille.
The room has a grey floor, dingy lighting, and a black-brown-red colour scheme. Anyone not in the 1% of the population who know what a "hoosegow" is would not see any "prison" here. They'd be more likely to see a photographic dark room, a lunchroom at a concrete plant, or a level from the computer game "Doom".
I award this place the award for "most looks like someone's house, and not a restaurant."
There are a few different interconnected rooms here. The first features a hand-painted ibis. The second has a row of ornamental flasks. The third has a GIANT SCYTHE hanging over the door. :/
This is the only fancy African restaurant in Adelaide (excluding Moroccan and other North African) places.
The place does the African decor well. It's loaded with bric a brac, and the walls feature hand-painted murals.
The walls are lined with full glass bottles of Coca Cola.
Me "I'd like a Diet Coke, please."
Waiter: "Sorry, we don't have Diet Coke."
Me: "Okay I'll just have a regular coke then."
Waiter: "We don't have any kind of Coke."
Me: :|
Waiter: "Would you care for a lemon, lime and bitters?"
After heading to a distant restaurant that wasn't open, I deployed my trusty Urbanspoon app. The nearest fancy restaurant was even further out.
So, here I am, in Clarendon. :)
The place is a bit rustic, with a bit of a country atmosphere. Not so much as to be toxic to humans though. :)
Busy tonight. I'm given a bar stool at the back.
Also, this is the 300th edition of The Feed Report!
Excellent tip: If it's Friday or the weekend, avoid heavily-populated areas, like the city or North Adelaide. Go to those places on weekdays, for much easier parking, and no waiting.
After 5-10 minutes, I'm offered a table for one hour. I accept this offer. After all, I am well-experienced in the art of the "speed feed."
There's all kinds of slow-cooked and spicy food on here, so my options are limited.
I enter this restaurant through a door, off a street. Oh, how cliche!
Next I'll probably asked to choose food from a printed list!
This place used to be D'Artagnan, a reasonable French restaurant.
I had assumed "the Jungle" would be the Kent Hotel's weak new theme for a restaurant that opened around two months ago.
I was anazed at what I found.
This place would put most adventure parks to shame. It's an aircraft hangar-sized room, full of tropical trees and plants, a giant gorilla, leopard print carpets, rock-textured walls, safari huts and lookouts, and a sadly non-functional hollow tree slippery dip.
I'm doing the "churrasco" option. It's a bit confusing, but they'll just keep bringing me feed. There are about 20-30 things I'll be getting.
A rambla is a ravine. I already knew that though. :)
The place is full of trendies, and me. No one knows who I really am. :) I'm like Clark fucking Kent.
Where's the hill? Does everyone here have to say Grace? So many stupid questions. So few answers. :|
Above the stands of Adelaide Oval. This place is very fancy and spacious. Reminds me of a first class airport lounge I snuck into. :)
Currently doing coriander check.
This is eight-course degustation tonight. Degustation is their main shtick, so I'll go for that. No price has been stated, but I don't want to look like a chump by asking, when I'm going to eat here regardless. :)
The real parliament is across the road. I'm not sure who's going to fall for this fake. The "o" on the end is what gave it away for me.